time flies

I am currently trying to declutter my home. Its a clutterous (rachelism) mess! today i cleaned the bathroom after work. Next is Bens room, i think. His room doesnt get bad. All I really need to do is put toys back into the toybox. The worst room, besides my room, is the living room. UGGHHH!!!! It is the dumping grounds for rummage sale purchases, all of Bens toys end up there, all my junk mail and paperwork from various things (child support, etc..). Plus, just the random everyday messes.

I cant decide if I am going to give up Bens little interactive playhouse things. Or his little slide. Or his little rocking bicycle. I have pretty much decided to keep the bicycle. The others, however he doesn't ever play with anymore. I think selling his things is harder on me than it is on him. It breaks my heart that I dont have anymore baby stuff after I get rid of those. It kinda shocked me when I mentioned it to my stepsister that Ben didn't play with them nymore and she replied that he was getting kinda old for them. At first I thought, NO WAY. Then I realized she is probably right. Those are more for crawling babies up to about 18 months. Ben is 22 months. How did that happen???!!! I am starting to get baby fever again. My biological clock is ticking insanely loud and fast. I wish it would stop. I am no where near finding a good husband to have a child with. As a matter of a fact, I'm not even looking. Not really interested. Love would be nice, but I hate how it always ends. Plus, it would be weird to have 2 kids with 2 different dads. Not that its a bad thing, I just never considered it. Ben would make a sweet big brother though. And I miss my roly poly wonder... he is a big boy already. Tick Tock Tick Tock.

Now, I need to look around at this mess and think of the whining and screaming that has already begun and will continue for at least 2 more years, but probably more than 16 years...LOL