I just feel so helpless and hopeless about my weight situation. After working so hard to lose weight after I separated from my ex husband, I can't believe that I am in this situation again. This time I don't have any other addictions to switch to like I did last time. Which would most likely be the reason I gained it all back plus some. :( I have even contemplated (briefly) picking up smoking again. I would never do this of course because I am proud of the fact that Ben has never been exposed to cigarette smoke. I just don't know where to start! I am so busy all of the time and next semester will be even worse because I have night classes after work, 3 nights a week instead of online classes. Biology 201 isnt offered online or hybrid and I cant learn math online so I had to take the hybrid. Between Ben, housework, homework, and work, I am overwhelmed!!! Add to it the stress of hating how I look and ultimately myself, I am surprised that I can get out of bed every morning.
OK. Anyways, those are a bunch of lame excuses. It is hard but there are plenty of times that I choose to nap or eat or be on the computer or watch tv or do absolutely nothing when I could be making healthier choices. It's like I have forgotten how to live, on some level. This is the most productive and important time in my life because of Ben and working on a career and maintaining sobriety since January 07. (except for the perpetual sugar/fat fog I live in...) I just cant seem to put the last piece into the puzzle. The most important piece. My HEALTH.
6 comments:
thank you for the sweet comment.. i clicked on publish but it deleted anyways :( just not my day i guess LOL So, I changed my settings so that I am not moderating my comments and I cant lose anymore comments that make me smile :)
You can do this Rachel. It's obvious how much you adore your son. And I know you want to be around a long long time for him! You CAN. It isn't hopeless. Get on sparkpeople and log your calories just for a couple of days and see how it affects you. Just knowing and being aware is a great first step! And it seems a first step is all you need to get going. Hang tough, you are a beautiful person... now you just need to be a healthier person!
Sorry, I had to delete my comment and repost because of a typo! Whoops!
I saw your comment over on the Escape from Obesity blog and thought I'd drop by here.
Please, please, please don't give up. I've been up and down on the weight roller coaster so many times, and I have a good idea of how you feel. Earlier this year I was considering bariatric surgery because I just couldn't stand being overweight anymore.
My problem has always been that I jump in and try to change everything at once, and it never, ever works. Just start small, with little babysteps, even something as simple as giving up soda, or walking for five minutes. Once you've got a handle on that one small thing, add something else.
You can do it! You will find the strength. It's there, I promise. Look at all the amazing things that you're doing -- raising a child on your own, working, going to school. You can do this, too.
Hi Rachel,
I came over here too after reading your comment on Escape from Obesity. I caught up a little on your blog and read over your comment on Lyn’s blog. First, I want to say, you did it before, you CAN do it again. You lost over 100 lbs before. That is amazing and you must be pretty darn amazing if you accomplished that in the first place. Also, I can sort of relate to what you are going through. I work full-time and go to school full-time and take care of a household (though I admit, I do not have any kids and I know that adds a lot to the stress). So, believe me, the thought of “I have too much to do already; I can’t do another thing like diet” has ran through my head a lot in the last year. But, and this may sound crazy at first, but one thing that has been helping me with my weight loss journey, is to not think of eating right as doing something. You have to eat no matter what, so when you do, just make healthier choices. I know that sounds way simplified but I am trying to stress that instead of feeling pressured, like oh my God, this is just another thing I have to do…just think…I have to eat already, I am just going to make different choices when I do…Hope this helps a little! I am going to bookmark your blog with all the other blogs I follow so I will be here rooting for ya! God bless!
-T
Thank You to Everyone for your encouraging words. I am going to sip some hot Green Jasmine tea and go to bed. I feel a good tomorrow coming on :)
Post a Comment